No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
