I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize