Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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