I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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