does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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