yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
