I don't remember. Are we still dating?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
