we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
