Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize