um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
