I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize