If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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