check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
