dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize