i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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