from now on my penis is your penis
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This baby is an asshole
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
