I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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