Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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