Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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