Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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