the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize