i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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