its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I died a long time ago.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
