ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
