Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
