I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize