the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
