I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
