I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the day after is always just damage control
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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