My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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