After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
