I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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