I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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