Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
