Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
