i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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