I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
