i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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