Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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