Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
