is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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