Did you just see the Batmobile???
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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