She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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