Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
