Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize