i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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