drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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