dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
