thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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