I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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