Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
