OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
