genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
