If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
