I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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