I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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